In the exclusive club know as male comradery there are very important rituals that must be observed. For example; you have the high five, the cup check, the taking of any shot placed in front of you, and really so many more that would be way too tedious to type. But of all rules in the charter, and the one that signifies ultimate acceptance, the nickname is the one that pertains to this particular blog.
I myself have had many nicknames over the years, some of them deserved and even cute; Bo, B, Boo, Boon Dock (my favorite), and Bo Bo. And others I certainly don’t agree with; Jerk, A-hole, Idiot and Football Bat. But of all the nicknames (deserved or otherwise), my favorite is the one I have just recently acquired… Daddy J.
Now a good nickname can not be given to one’s self. It almost always has to be earned. Any man that tries to name himself should probably be kicked square in the man region, so rest assured my privates should be spared. It was my wife bestowed this new tag on me. And in the beginning, this new name did not take.
In fact, it wasn’t even a name I felt too comfortable with right away.
You see, Kalen’s dad is still very much in the picture. I wouldn’t go so far to say that he is a big part of her life or anything… that would be a matter to take up with Missouri Child Services. (If the not-so-subtle cough of the words “dead beat” could be conveyed through blog, I would do it in these parentheses.) But between the delinquent payments and few obscenities hurled at my wife, he is still her dad. And growing up in a similar way, I know what it is like to have other men prematurely pose as “dad”.
Like her, I also know what it is like to have a dad that wears two faces. My father also wasn’t very supportive or helpful to my mom. But on the sporadic weekends that I did spend with my father, he was great. He made sure I always laughed and always got what I want. Much like Kalen’s dad does and is for her. That’s why as a kid (especially one Kalen’s age) it’s hard to know what or who deserves that title.
Sadly for mothers, children are not blessed with that kind of clarity for quite some time.
Luckily for me, in fact maybe the best luck of all (outside of meeting my future wife); she seems to have finally christened me into that role. In fact, that name flows from her mouth like a domestic beer from your favorite hole-in-the-wall’s tap. I can’t place the time or date that she started using it so freely, though it seems to have happened sometime around her mother’s and my wedding. This tells me that at age four, though not possessed with the ability to fully appreciate what goes on behind the curtain of her life… she’s somehow sensed the importance of and accepted her mom’s pledge to love me, and I to her. She’s stubborn, a pain-in-the-butt-just-like-her-mother, adorable, beautiful (again like her mother) and way smarter than any adult would ever give her credit. That is my Kalen-nator… another nickname.
So among the many names given, earned, and/or undeserved… Daddy J stands the most important, emphatic, and greatest name I could ever garner. If I were a betting man I would lay money that I’ll probably feel that way forever, or at least until I am graced with the name “Grand-pappy J”.
But that nickname and blog better be DECADES away.
And With that thought I bring this blog to an end, I here my nickname being shouted from the other room. No doubt lunch is done and we’ve got a puzzle to assemble.
See you tomorrow - J
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