A Change in Production Schedule.

Normally when I sit to write this blog, it’s the day prior to it seeing the light. Today’s blog however was written just this morning. In fact, three different blogs were conceived this morning. The problem with all three though, they didn’t have the feel I was looking for. Maybe the timing wasn’t right, maybe I didn’t like the pacing, or maybe they just weren’t very good. Whatever the case, I decided to go with this entirely different and fourth blog.

My main fear of bringing this blog daily is writer’s block. Or maybe even more so, I fear that a daily pace might cause it to grow stale… for both you and me. So in order to keep that from happening, I plan on cutting back to a minimum of three a week including the Friday Funnies. Here and there I might add a fourth or even fifth post. But forcing out five a week might detract from overall appeal.

Look at it like this, currently Kalen is eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Given her choice, she’d eat one every day… lunch and dinner. My regulating her to having it every other day at best allows her to enjoy it more, and takes away the fear of getting burnt out.

Consider this blog my PB & J.

Of course it’s still good for any aspiring writer (or blogger) to have a deadline. So mine will be Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Basically any day Kalen eats a PB & J sandwich, I am posting a blog. In order to keep with the theme I could change the name to Peanut Blogger & Jelly.

Ok… maybe not.

Hopefully this change will be for the better and please continue spreading the word. Drop in on my Blogspot page and sign up to follow me there. And just overall enjoy what I am doing.

See you tomorrow - J

My Little Mata Hari, Sans the Exotic Dancing

In my house the numbers game seems to be my biggest obstacle. No matter how close Kalen and I get, she’s still and always will be mommy’s little girl. Whether the battle is a rousing game of dog pile or just some good ol’ bare knuckle fisticuffs between me and the wife, she will always have mom’s side. Sure I have Murph. But if the four of us squared off in a tag team cage match, he’d probably be more interested in chewing on the turnbuckle then watching my back. So in the battle of sexes of my house, I remain down by one… it might as well be one hundred.

I’ve read that in any war it is almost always wise to hide your strengths until the time is perfect, my two girls flaunt it blatantly. They plot girl’s night days in advance of me working at the bar. They shout their battle cry of “GIRL POWER!” when performing sneak attacks and frontal assaults. They send secrets to and fro across battle lines openly and daily.

And I suffer their audacity.

Although there does seem to be a glimmer of hope on the horizon. Better days may lie ahead. And no... I don’t mean my wife is carrying a miniature me in here belly basket. (Again, that is a blog hopefully a little ways down the road.) No, I am talking about a pint sized turncoat in the guise of a four year old with an angel’s facade.

In the last month or so I’ve noticed that Kalen listens to my request from time to time. I’ve managed to convince her to give mom a whippin’ when I feel she’s acting up. Sometimes, when mom is lying on the couch, I’ve even convinced the Kalenator to use the nuclear bomb of our house war… the wet wily.

Yeah, I feel like the tides of war are starting even out. I am gaining ground in this household. That is unless mom and daughter are luring me into a false sense of security. I might have underestimated my adversary, thus creating the perfect trap. Perhaps she’s training her daughter in the art of espionage, creating a pint sized double agent. The conniving harlots, this means that I now have to be further on my toes.

And these two have already caused me to have the toes ballerina.

Please see this blog as a rallying cry, a call to arms for the men of this world. Surely someone has seen this scenario play out. Someone has to have some words of advice. I can’t be on this island alone… can I?

Any help that could aid my cause would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance - J

The First Funny.

With the closing of my store, a new source of income had to be obtained. Luckily I had already been working a couple or three nights at a local watering hole as a bouncer/doorman in order to help pay for the wedding and keeping that job became an easy option. The draw back is that it keeps me up considerably late on Wednesday and Thursday nights (sometimes more).

Therefore Thursday and Friday mornings I sleep in, usually no latter than nine am. Give or take thirty minutes.

On some of those mornings, Kalen doesn’t sleep in. What she does and how long she does it is a complete mystery. A few times I have awoken to find her staring at me. I can’t be sure how long or how intense of a stare I’m given, but I can tell you that it is slightly creepy.

This has happened to me once before in life. All the way back in high school (during my senior year) we had a sausage only New Year’s Eve party. Why it was guys only I can’t remember now, but for some it was their first time drinking… and first time puking from being drunk.

After passing out on the floor on one of the few clear patches of carpet I awoke to find my buddy Steve staring at me from the couch. Needless to say I was slightly shaken. So after falling back to sleep for about another forty minutes or so, I rolled back over and opened my eyes to find the same icy gaze targeted at me again.

Kalen’s glare although not as creepy, still causes flashbacks that leads me to the flop sweats.