Maybe I’ve turned into just an old married man. Maybe the years and countless “apology” presents for wrongs I’m still not sure I committed have soured me. Or maybe I’ve just taken for granted what it means to be young and discover new love. Whatever the case… seeing young love in action like I did just yesterday both saddens me and makes my heart melt a little.
It's great to witness a young man doing his best to impress his lady friend by posturing in the manliest of fashions. To watch him borderline prance to and fro as he walked. And I would smile as he lovingly teased her every chance he could.
I watched that same young man being driven crazy by that same lady. She would appear indifferent toward him one moment, and then like a giddy little girl the next. You could see her work him into a frenzy by the slightest movement. It almost appeared as if she was dancing for him, and no music was needed to keep rhythm.
The interaction between the two was almost comical. But still loving and a little moving. With each moment and interaction between the two, you could see how much they yearned for each other’s company. It was as if every glance in one another’s direction just made them happier just to be near each other.
Yeah, I would have to say it’s a safe bet that if my big retarded dog ever made his way into the neighbor’s yard… he’s going to hump the s#!t out her lady dog.
Hope she’s fixed - J
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A Small Blog w/Small Thoughts.
So my new body wash claims that it has a “Classical Masculine Scent”.
Personally I’ve always envisioned my scent as being more post-modern.
But hey… manly is manly no matter what genre it smells like - J
Personally I’ve always envisioned my scent as being more post-modern.
But hey… manly is manly no matter what genre it smells like - J
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Public Enemy Numero Uno
Occasionally I eat doughnuts on my way to work.
When I do, I stop at the Quick Trip just before getting onto the highway and only usually when I need gas.
This past Friday, I needed gas and ipso facto… I got some “holy” goodness. (Pun)
My first act was to fill my truck to the brim, to the tune of roughly $55 worth of go-go juice. I then headed inside to get lunch for later in the day, a few doughnuts, and a large coffee; which added another $9 or so to my total.
When I went to the check out, the guy asked me “large or small?”
My response… “Three small”.
Now mind you, I base my large and small on the fact that some doughnuts are big and some are not. My ‘nuts were clearly the runts of the litter, thus my response of “three small”.
Apparently, the clerk’s proper mode of questioning my doughnut selection should have been, “holes or no holes”. Then I would have responded, “Two with holes and one without”. But as it stood, I didn’t.
And therein lay the rub.
For after I began my walk out the door; the lowly clerk gave me a yell to come back to the counter. This is where things began to get dicey. When I re-approached the counter the man said, “You said three small, that one is a large. That’s like trying to steal.”
I was all like, “Whaa-huh?”
He then began, and this is with a gas station filled with an ass load of morning commuters, to ask me to fork over an additional twenty-four cents (the price difference between the “large” and “small” doughnut). This is something I would have gladly done under ideal circumstances.
Telling me my intent was “like stealing” did not put me in a proper frame of mind to carry a pseudo intellectual debate of any kind or. So this circumstance was not ideal.
I responded…
“Twenty-four cents! Are you f@#king kidding me?”
I then added what I thought was a fairly logical counterpoint, “I just spent nearly $65 and you think I want to skip out on twenty-four damn cents from your Quicky Mart?”
Hand to god, this went on for nearly three minutes (an eternity in stupid speak).
Finally the manager intervened.
He asked for my side, I politely obliged. He then asked for an explanation from the rocket surgeon behind the counter. And in his defense, he told the honest truth.
The manager then turned and said, “Thank you sir, and have a great day.”
Many a wise men have said that you can’t argue with logic.
On my way out I asked smarty if at least got the correct number of doughnuts. I of course was asking under the assumption that his drop out level of education might not be able to handle simple arithmetic. This caused me to smile from ear to ear.
After I got in my truck and started my journey to work, I contemplated my next step in criminal evolution. After all, I had just successfully heisted less than two bits from a major gas and snack supplier… perhaps Hoosier homerun derby (mailbox bashing for short) or maybe mattress label removing.
Baby steps you know - J
When I do, I stop at the Quick Trip just before getting onto the highway and only usually when I need gas.
This past Friday, I needed gas and ipso facto… I got some “holy” goodness. (Pun)
My first act was to fill my truck to the brim, to the tune of roughly $55 worth of go-go juice. I then headed inside to get lunch for later in the day, a few doughnuts, and a large coffee; which added another $9 or so to my total.
When I went to the check out, the guy asked me “large or small?”
My response… “Three small”.
Now mind you, I base my large and small on the fact that some doughnuts are big and some are not. My ‘nuts were clearly the runts of the litter, thus my response of “three small”.
Apparently, the clerk’s proper mode of questioning my doughnut selection should have been, “holes or no holes”. Then I would have responded, “Two with holes and one without”. But as it stood, I didn’t.
And therein lay the rub.
For after I began my walk out the door; the lowly clerk gave me a yell to come back to the counter. This is where things began to get dicey. When I re-approached the counter the man said, “You said three small, that one is a large. That’s like trying to steal.”
I was all like, “Whaa-huh?”
He then began, and this is with a gas station filled with an ass load of morning commuters, to ask me to fork over an additional twenty-four cents (the price difference between the “large” and “small” doughnut). This is something I would have gladly done under ideal circumstances.
Telling me my intent was “like stealing” did not put me in a proper frame of mind to carry a pseudo intellectual debate of any kind or. So this circumstance was not ideal.
I responded…
“Twenty-four cents! Are you f@#king kidding me?”
I then added what I thought was a fairly logical counterpoint, “I just spent nearly $65 and you think I want to skip out on twenty-four damn cents from your Quicky Mart?”
Hand to god, this went on for nearly three minutes (an eternity in stupid speak).
Finally the manager intervened.
He asked for my side, I politely obliged. He then asked for an explanation from the rocket surgeon behind the counter. And in his defense, he told the honest truth.
The manager then turned and said, “Thank you sir, and have a great day.”
Many a wise men have said that you can’t argue with logic.
On my way out I asked smarty if at least got the correct number of doughnuts. I of course was asking under the assumption that his drop out level of education might not be able to handle simple arithmetic. This caused me to smile from ear to ear.
After I got in my truck and started my journey to work, I contemplated my next step in criminal evolution. After all, I had just successfully heisted less than two bits from a major gas and snack supplier… perhaps Hoosier homerun derby (mailbox bashing for short) or maybe mattress label removing.
Baby steps you know - J
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